Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
