Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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