If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You've changed since you got that strap on
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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