I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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