I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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