if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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