Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
