This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
