Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
