i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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