Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
