I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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