she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
