is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
