Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dick very happy bro
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
