I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
