He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
