i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. š
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a āfireplaceā station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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