I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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