She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
