I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
