im drinking this country out of the recession.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The struggles of a small town man whore
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
