Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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