You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
