u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
