Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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