Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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