Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
