I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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