I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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