I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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