please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize