Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
third nipple confirmed
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
