I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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