guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
