I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
