I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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