Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My life is pants optional.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
