Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
