OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
