Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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