I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
