so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
