HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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