Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
