O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
