I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
