Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
