Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
