I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
