Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
