its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She's the barista slut.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
