Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
