are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize