this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
