But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
