at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
