the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
