after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
