take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
