Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize