Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize