Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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