Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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