i just wanna soil my oats bro
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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